My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she peed on how many people?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
