did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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