She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
