I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
