I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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