I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
