I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
