what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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