it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
