if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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