I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
