Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
