Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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