It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize