I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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