garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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