I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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