But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
