I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize