i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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