i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
