goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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