yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm both gender and math confused
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
