I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
