I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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