Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
