there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
