I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
