I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
