Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
