he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
