im holly from the hills drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
