New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
