before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize