"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Enjoy the penises
I pour the whiskey from now on
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
