I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
