yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
