so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
