So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
