you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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