There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
