at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
