the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
