i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
