my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Welp...herpes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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