I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
