Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
