Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
