Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
