I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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