I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
