You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
