Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
