You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
