A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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