Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The struggles of a small town man whore
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
