Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
