Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
