He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
