Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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