Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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