I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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