I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
