i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
