Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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