i can't believe i had my finger in that
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
