6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just had sex bonerless
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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