You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
