she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize