Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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