Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize