Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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