Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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