the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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