OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize