dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
