i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
