PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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