I must be too annoying 4 u.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
