Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
