Im at strip club and am horny
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize