I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
